Earlier I had seen her looking bored ... down. I asked her if she came here to have fun and she nodded yes. I asked, "are you doing that??" she nodded no. She didn't want to dance, but maybe she might like to talk. I said she could come find me when she would like to do that.
An older butch latina, probably in her early forties. Newly single, she's moved out and all, it's a done deal. She was in that breakup "daze" where you're trying to have fun but all you can feel is incomplete. At least that's how it seems to me. Since I've never had the misfortune of a breakup. (We won't count the two that don't count).
"So, how old are you?"
"Well, I'm twenty---x"
"ahh. Don't you wanna know how old I am?"
"It doesn't matter to me."
"OK, so are you bi or gay?"
I crossed my arms and gave an indignant look. "Hmm, so it's because I'm femme right?" She nodded "well, yeah..."
"I'm a dyke"
"Ok, well that's good - Are you into older women?"
"Yeah, well, seems like all the butches my age are into skinny girls or each other."
I shouldn't have said that. I should have just said yes. Because I'm increasingly finding that I am. I can't find that "classic butch" type in anyone my age. Around here, they're quite frequently thugs or jocks that fit those obnoxious stereotypes. I want a gentleman (butch) who's intelligent and mannerly, but not uptight.
Later.
"So, have you ever had a lover?"
Is that what it's called? I've never heard it called that in anything except old lesbian gender books from the 90's.
"Uhh... see, that's kind of a complicated question."
"What, it's not complicated!"
"I guess, technically no. But um. It's because I only came out a year ago - I mean, I knew waaay before then, but ..."
She walked me to my car. I told her I was glad she was able to get out and relax. She wished me a safe drive home.
Am I lowering my standards by consciously including older women in my pursuit of companionship? Or does this still count as exploring my options? I like grown up butches that don't actually look/behave like 15 year old skater boys. If grown ups are the only ones who can match my style, then what's the big deal?
Gem was dancing again tonight, and she makes me question my no-femmes rule. She totally nibbled on my cleavage and bit me -AGAIN-. Didn't leave a mark. I was wearing a knit top with a serious low plunge. And this sugary, tiny little confection, Lizzy who looks like a cheerleader but she's so incredibly giving! She called me a shy girl, but little does she know that she's one of those femmes that makes me want to top. Luna asked if the drinks she made me a couple weeks ago had scared me away because I hadn't been back. Of course, Miss Avarice cannot be scared by alcohol! I guess I have better things to do than go out drinking alone, eh? That's a good sign. I ran out of tip money too fast, they deserved it.
10 comments:
That's a HOT picture.
And I would say, you're just exploring your options. I'm actually far more attracted to older men. My family always assumed I would marry someone much older because I'm really attracted to that older "dad" look. Of course Robbie couldn't be more boyish (boi-ish, hehe) if he tried. In short there's nothing wrong with having "types" and there's also nothing wrong about dating a bunch of different types until you figure out what (or who)you really want.
On other news, I would love to hang out with you soon. Robbie and I are leaving today and coming back on Tuesday. So if you're going to be in town give me a call. Also Robbie and I are throwing a New Years Eve Party, and you are most certainly invited, as is anyone else you would like to bring. Merry Christmas love!
"An older butch latina, probably in her early forties."
::: sigh ::: i suppose it was bound to happen. "older" = "early forties"
damn, sister! i promise you from the early 40s, i don't feel particularly older. just better. lots better.
WOAH...that's quite a rack!
*jealous*
If you think you're lowering your standards, you very well might be. You didn't really describe her as more than butch, Latina and middle-aged. If that's all you saw, not "sexy" "hot" "freckled"
"cute ass," etc, let it go.
The problem with relationships entered into out of boredom/lonliness is that we tend to get stuck in them for the same reasons.
Then again, a little dinner never hurt anyone.
This paper is never going to be finished! If you celebrate xmas, have a great one.
D.
J - you will be seeing my ass soon!
T - how else should I describe someone twice my age! Older means older than me.
D - She had cute short curly hair and reminded me of an old friend. I wasn't intending on a relationship I was only intending on making her smile, which I did. For some reason I really wanted to see everyone having a good time last night, so talking to her was part of fulfilling my mission to cheer up the downhearted. And thanks for the compliment! It's true. I have quite the figure. Too bad only bi-curious girls and married women like it!
a few thoughts:
i understand on the older woman thing. i have it bad for girls (and osme boys) older than me (8 seems to be the number at the moment...though there is at least one my age, and one who was twice my age). i got no ideas on the why, but there you have it.
and to t-t: note that she didn't say "old", but "older". older is a pretty straightforward description meaning, more or less, older than me. old means, well, old ;)
on the subject of "types", well,ain't nothin' wrong with having a type. just remember that there ain't nothing wrong with not holding to that type either.
last but not least, as neither bi-curious (or, if i am, it's bi-curious dyke, not bi-curious straight girl *g*) or married: nice rack. god, i love boobs. =D
Older women are HOT, Miss Avarice. I adore them. So no on the lowering standards question.
ah, yes, my point wasn't so much being older than someone in their 20s. i'm totally good with that. the point was the lowering standards for someone older = 40s, as if we are all dented, bruised, or somehow lost our vacuum seal. ::: grin ::: though i do concede that people tend to seek partners of around their own age & therefore more common experiences, life stages, cultural references, etc. there is nothing i really miss about my 20s. as Sister Maya says, "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now."
T-T I think that's what I was trying to say. Someone who is significantly older than I am isn't -shouldn't- be in the same phase of life than I am. That's not good for me. So, to me, lowering my standards means choosing someone who isn't good for me. Is this coming out right?
Oh yes, that is some FINE cleavage you have there Miss Avarice! Keep doin' what you're doing with your sexy self. You'll get there. Don't wait for the butch girls to notice (and possibly dismiss) you; take matters into your own hands and SHOW them that you're not a some bi-curious visitor.
Ms. A~ As a frequent non-commenting visitor: Wow! I'm such a sucker for cleavage that I had to come out of the comment closet!
...is it warm in here or is it just me?
Dee
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