my anniversary came and went without a whisper!

As I was reading over Sinclair's anniversary post (Happy 2 years!), I realized that mine was April 26, Saturday, and I totally missed it... I was so busy sleeping and running errands this weekend that I forgot that My blog anniversary was on April 26! I had copied over some of the filtered posts from my old blog to get started, and then wrote my first blog entry.

This blog has been all about handling layers. I have been learning to flip through the pages of our culture, of queer culture, and of the sexualities that we have taken underground, discovering anew the rich history and family that is built around shared secrets. I feel like I joined a secret guild of queer and sex writers who are taking back their sexualities and writing the stories back into the public eye. Keep doing that, and I'll keep working alongside you all. I said:

i shall never lack for conquests, suitors, and worshipers.

but it isn't the lack I fear. It's the abundance. I just want one that I can trust.

one pair of eyes to gaze into, in which to lose myself, wandering. one pair of lips for kissing, for communicating, for caring. one pair of hands for touching, for holding, for safety.

hands that hold me tightly - but not too tightly. hands and arms that wrap around me, assuring me of rest and security. and the breast, the tenderness, compressed against mine, the hope, the health, the future adventures, the trust and companionship. the faith and the forgiveness.

i want it. i want it all. the hands and everything that comes with them. the eyes and everything i see in them. the hips that balance right-and-wrong, new-and-old, truth-and-disguise.

my hands are sun hands.
hands know words that lips can only dream of.

A year later, and at least for now I have found that pair of hands, and everything that comes with them, and we're continuing to discover how our hands fit together. Holding each other's hands, we are learning to walk in one even stride.

I really need to say, too, that the people who have consistently followed my adventures, and encouraged me to write, reveal and divulge have been truly invaluable. I am a different person today, a freer, healthier person because I am telling my story. If you're not telling yours yet, start now.

watershed

Look at this beautiful, beautiful butch woman. I'm especially entranced by the back cover. Mhmm. Is this yet another sign that I'm totally into older women, or is she just one big piece of hotness? I'm thinking both. And what a sweet, sweet, buttery smooth voice! I'm hooked. This is the third album of hers that I have purchased, and what a delicious treat it is.

I feel like having some dessert. I think I'll have Sahlep

no, i didn't win the lottery

Miss Avarice has shopped.
No, I didn't win the lottery,
I just have really good credit.
This shopping trip will probably
last me until the summer time!

From the jewelry store:
Diamond Ring: $975? Hardly. $292.50
Aquamarine Ring: $189.? Try $56.70
Black Pearl Earrings: $100? Half. $50.00
White Pearl Earrings: $59? A mere $18

I apparently shopped on the right day because my favorite place for clothing was also on sale. Pretty much everything in the $30-$50 range was $6! When I checked out, Rather than my receipt showing $440, it was $171. For two whole bags stuffed full! Mostly sweaters and a jacket for colder weather, stocking up for times when I will be heading northward. I also grabbed some yoga pants, a denim skirt, dress pants, and shelf tanks. From another store I grabbed a couple of thin, long-sleeved shirts for the dreaded Camping Trip which I have been conned, coerced, and otherwise required against my will to attend. Finally, I finished off with two new bags, a small red and a mediumish blue. My friends make fun of me for how incredibly large most of my purses, and I general stick to one style, so I purposefully picked bags that are definitely not my style - it's time to branch out.

Speaking of heading northward, my mind has been in "please god, anywhere but here" mode and I have been curiously investigating places like Brooklyn, Jersey, Portland, and Washington State as a future home once I have finished my Women's Studies degree - although I'm sure the studying will have just begun by that point! Of course this is not for another year or so, but moving that far away from home deserves some thorough preparation. Why move across the continent you ask? Eh. I require constant change to exist. My spirit must always be moving. And I've said many times before, I have never felt so content in any other situation than I feel when I am in transit from one place to another. Whether it's driving to work, driving to see a friend who lives out of town or flying to an entirely different city. My most favorite feeling is walking down a street that I have never been on before. That's why it didn't take me long to get on board when Kay suggested that they might be skipping town in the next year or two also...

dyke drama

*screams* I'm flippen excited about Season 5. Who's getting season 4 so we can re-watch it? We only have 2 months! I'd like to know exactly who is fucking on the couch - what a scene. Warm afternoon sunlight and a little naked body. hmmm.

omg shoes

Please. For the love of God. No more shoes! I was helpless today! I tried on so many pairs of shoes - you should have seen me! I went in looking for clothes and came out with a mini-blender, two-for-the-price-of-one pillows, and three pairs of shoes! Black closed-toed pumps, red closed-toed pumps and a pair of flats. I originally went into the shoe department looking for flats, but picked up the two heels and then felt guilty for not getting what I went in for originally. So I had to get the flats too. My other heels are not very sturdy - the two pairs of satin ones. Those are for outings where I will not do much walking. These new ones are very sturdy, and with magic clear-gel-stick-on-insoles, they'll be good to go. I really need to start wearing these shoes if I'm going to keep buying them. It's like when I used to buy a lot of makeup and never wear it... I need a life. It's getting dire, folks.

Hi, my name is Avarice. I have a problem. I sometimes over-do it on shoes.