21.8.08

suspension of heterosexual belief

In light of Sinclair's recent post about the suspension of heterosexual belief, let me tell you about kissing a boy last night.

For me, you see, boys are a great idea in theory but in practice it simply doesn't work. I'm not into their general boorishness, their clumsiness, and apathy toward women's situation, their overall grossness. But Robbie is different. First and foremost he is the husband of my darling Jenny - that alone should be enough for me to think highly of him. Secondly, he is committed to feminist causes, and very supportive and sympathetic to queer politics and theory. A man after my own heart, you see? Add to that, practised, gentle kink and a tastefully open relationship with Jenny. What could be better? I always say, you don't have to be gay to be queer. I'll add to that - you don't have to limit yourself to be gay.

Anatomy aside, Robbie is very keenly the type of boy that I would want if I were into boys. Maybe I am. Or maybe I am only into boys like him. You see, I like masculinity. I love the sort of female masculinity that butch women present and live out. But I can appreciate gentle, sweet boyish boys too. So - is it just the masculinity part? This respectful masculinity that cherishes and protects my femininity whether it comes from a boy or a girl? it's just so very rare to find that in a boy. I dunno what I'm trying to say.

Kissing Robbie in the pool was real-life suspension of heterosexual belief - he's a boy, sure. Masculine, defnitely! But not at all offensive, not at all scary or weird or awkward. I very much liked it.

gasp! i've tarnished my gold star! whatever shall i do?

more of the same, of course.

3 comments:

Dylan said...

Polish it to a beautiful shine again and give yourself a high five for not allowing any sort of label to limit you.

Anonymous said...

i love your fluidity (and the last two lines of this post).

femmecolleen said...

Woohoo! That's badass. I think it's great to step outside our boxes every now and then. Sometimes it only serves to show us how green the grass is on the side we left, but sometimes that's a good enough reason! I totally know what you mean about the things you love about masculinity, and how those are usually only present in butches/transmen. There are a few rare cismen out there, though, that manage to have the same rockin' energy. I strongly suspect that Joss Whedon, for example, is one of them. :)