twice, a bad dream.

I've been having truly awful nightmares.

A couple weeks ago I dreamed that someone gave me this thin, limp, dark haired girl. She was so tiny, and barely conscious. All I knew in my dream was that she was a prop in some art project. A few yards away there was a white wall, and then a glass panel and on the back, a thinly padded wall. At the sound of a shot gun, I was supposed to throw her against the wall, so I did. Instantly I realized my mistake. She (and a several others, alike) slid, dropped to the floor where men in white masks beat them to death. I shrieked as if it had been me who was thrown. I was sickened that I had taken part in it. But I didn't understand what it was before it happened...

Dramatic, no?

Saturday night I dreamed that there were some young children who were being filmed in a children's movie. They all dove into this shallow pool and suddenly the floor underneath the pool began to tilt back and forth, creating bigger and bigger waves. The water began to rise and the children were drowning. We (the adults) tried to save as many as we could but we were struggling to keep ourselves afloat. The adults all piled into an elevator where "5" was the top floor but the numbers were all jumbled up. "5" was really like the 15th floor but like I said, they were mixed up. When we reached the top, safe and sound, I asked someone, "What happened to the children?" She was a thin orange-haired girl with a host of freckles and a warm smile. Maybe you know her. And she said, "Why, they've all drowned". She spoke with a tone of voice that expressed how unfortunate the situation was, but no real remorse or disappointment at all. I was disgusted, and I felt tricked.

Morbid. Why all the dreams about people dying? And no one caring? I don't get it.

I had another upsetting dream this morning but I can't remember what it was. It's just as well, I'd rather not remember.

Am I worried about my big dreams and plans dying? I sometimes dream so big that I have to scale down the grandeur. It hurts.