13.2.08

voyeur

My temper tantrum about Autumn is over.

I wasn't supposed to be upset but I was. And it's fading. In fact, I wasn't even upset by her, or by the situation, but I was upset at myself for having feelings that weren't in the deal. That wasn't fair to anyone involved, but it was my reality. I tried to be level headed, and I wanted to understand what was going on. The way I understand even myself the best is by writing out everything that is running through my head, even if it sounds exaggerated. See, my thoughts in this space are truth magnified, but when I say my thoughts aloud, they're quiet and affirming - however, they are no less true than what I say here. So take me at my word. Things are okay with me, I'm not upset with anyone except myself, and I am sorry. Just let me deal with me.

2 comments:

Dark Delilah said...

Sorry, love. You can't help how you feel and this is your outlet for your emotional turmoil. Do Not apologize, dammit! This should be your safe place..

Ms. Avarice said...

Delilah, dearest, sometimes we have to eat our words when we say hurtful things. I do feel safe... and I'm choosing to apologize.