11.1.08

hard travelin hootenanny

I have a lot to say but I am not feeling very concise at the moment. I'm still talking to the girl from last summer who was driving trucks at the time. She's up north spending time with family, but she keeps working her wiles on my heart. She opens up soft spaces in my heart for herself and sings my praises, although we've never met. She says I'm so wonderful, a woman of such good character, she see me as stable, with achievable life goals and intelligence and all those good "marriageable" qualities. She wants me to call myself hers and I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I need you here in flesh and blood, I need to touch your skin to know that you are real.

So we talked. She has family she can stay with here. She may come visit the week that school has let out at the end of this semester. If there's chemistry, and if I'm not otherwise attached, I might be able to put a name on this, but for now, honey I'm not yours, and I'm not anybody's.

I own my happiness.

So anyway, there's the little problem of some big feelings of affection on her part that she conjured up with no help from me and I don't really know what to do with them. Some of them I reciprocate and some of them I do not. She's trying to get my heart involved when my cunt is doing the talking.

4 comments:

GreenEyedGrrrl said...

That freaks me out when people push for something that obviously needs a lot more time to develop. Why the rush? Proceed with caution on this one.

lady brett said...

"but for now, honey I'm not yours, and I'm not anybody's.

I own my happiness."

i love it

Dylan said...

I think it's a little creepy when people push for things so hard as well... how can she be sure of what she feels when she hasn't even looked in your eyes yet, heard your heart beat, felt your hand in hers... I think it's easy to flirt and so much harder to have physical chemistry, a vested interest, in person. I hope you are doing the right thing for you... I think your head is totally in the right place though, so I know your decisions will be too.

Robin said...

It is so damn easy for people to get emotionally attached and create something out of nothing when it comes to the internet. I have made some great friends and lovers through this medium but nothing was cemented until there was actually in person time spent together. Your head is definitely thinking straight (but not so sure that cunt isn't going to get you in trouble..hehe).