Miss Dana and I were sort of discussing (and I say sort of, because I was mostly blabbering) about the difference between having a same sex partner, and being married to someone of the same sex. Is it any different? Dana and I have become very attached (she will wink and say, "not at the hip, can you guess where?") and I think of her as my partner, but not as a marital spouse. I like the idea that she and I are able to come together as a unit, that we share most things in life, that we plan together for the future. But there's no pressure. If the brilliance of this relatively new relationship fades and neither of us is into it anymore, there's little to stop us from pursuiing something new. Just put your stuff in a box and you're out!
Ok so maybe it's not that easy for everyone but in theory. Ya know.
So I would be ok with saying she's my partner, at my next job, provided things are going well between us, I would like to have us both on my health insurance. But neither of us is ready for marriage. What's the difference here?
Is it just that one is a little more permanent, a little hard to get out of? Is it that there's a difference between what "marriage" is and what "partnership" is? I don't get it. I always thought of it as the same damn thing, but it doesn't feel like it, now that I'm in the middle of a partnership.
At work, just to get someone on as your "domestic partner" you just have to sign a paper that says you share the same domicile, you're both responsible for the bills and that you're in an "indefinite" relationship based on mutual love and care. Is that so hard? Lots of unmarried people do that! (By the way, my company will take this form for same- or different-sex couples.) Anyone in such a relationship would sign that document. But would they get married? Not necessarily.
So I have a partner of mutual love and care, we share a domicile, we are generally both responsible for what goes on with the money, we share decisions, and it's "indefinite" (which only means that it goes on until it ends, the end is not yet in sight but could be at any time right?). But I don't want to marry her.
Hmm. Food for thought.
By the way:
1. If I was being really honest, I would tell my boss that if he has to scold me for being one minute late when I am consistently over 97% in compliance, he's got bigger problems on his hands than that.
2. If I was being really honest with myself, I would admit that I'm a fleeting, fluttering soul who can't do the same thing for very much longer or else she might lose it. Whatever "it" is.