you say quite alot, but you're saying nothing at all

I'm starting to get very nervous. Anxious.
I'm a city girl, I've always been a city girl.
But I'm concerned that NYC is going to be
too big, too confusing, too much for me.
I'm think that I'm going to feel very, very small.
I wonder where I'm going to get the confidence
to bust down the door of a metropolis and
*Find my way around without getting lost
*Not look like a tourist or get myself into trouble
*Know whom to and not to talk to

I'm not comfortable with my choice of hotel either because it's not inexpensive enough. The only thing that's really affordable is hostels but I don't want to be all by my lonesome in a dorm with a bagillion people who are all out doing their own thing. I don't want to bother people by coming in late...

I was gonna try to make it by just bringing an overnight bag, but the workshop has a whole list of stuff to bring, so I need to get some luggage. The luggage I have is all duct-taped and stuff from being dragged around. I don't want to carry my back-packing pack because I'm a small person and having it strapped to me makes me feel very vulnerable. I can lose my balance easily.

So... new luggage it is, I suppose. I'd resolved not to bring my laptop and to take a fucking break from the damn thing. But then I realized I'm going to have homework I may need to do...

egh. Nevermind all this. I'm just trying to figure out in my head how it's going to work. I plan and prepare excessively. It's normal.


Note to self: get padding for your new high heeled shoes or you're gonna to lose all feeling in your toes.