Sugasmo! #152

This Week’s Picks
Sugarbutch Star: Maze - The Girl in the Red Dress
“She’s the kind of girl who brings out the worst in me.”

treat or … fuck
“He looked like I had just given him a car for Christmas and he gently took my hand and led me upstairs. ”

A Life Exposed and Amplified
“We were breaking the rules and being dirty.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
I told him I loved him. He gave me a pen.

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Break On Through
Eiffel Tower
Fast Jenny
A Few Orgasms Before Bed
Geisha
Goodbye, my Love
lustlustlust
Mexican Girlfriend
Mixing business and pleasure
Mistaken Identity
Unblemished

Sex Advice
How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis
Is Fantasizing Wrong?
Is Sex Without Oral a Dealbreaker? You Decide.
Lasting Longer in Bed

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Georgia Jones wants to go for a ride
HNT. Forest Nymph
HNT! (One more cherry, popped.)
Kamila - The Restoration
More from the knee socks series
PSA: Breast Cancer Awareness
Seductor

Sex Work
Dating Civilians 101

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
A New Twist on an Anal Sex Toy
On Tuesday, Vote for Equality

BDSM & Fetish
-3 Days
Bad Girl
The big dodge
Blind date: Impressions of a Dom
Dirty Boy
egg scissors
Do you want to cum? How bad?
Jake gets Punished in Spanking Movie
Kneeling In Style
Long Night in Thee Cow Shed
Marked: An Open Letter
Mistress by Proxy, part 2 : the slut
The New Bath Brush
Pimping him out
Pondering Piercings
Quickie

Sex Humour
Friday Poem: Achy Achy Cunt

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
HNT-Time
Hubby’s Halloween Hit. Confession #167
The Space Between
Two women, two stories

Update; sectional.

I've sat down to write several posts recently. I was going to write another excerpt from John Poster's book "Meals for Males" and I got distracted looking at the funny French names he gave his pheasant recipes. Hi-larious.

I also wanted to write about our housing project: we found out Dana's lease is not up until 2/09 so we have a good four months until we move out of this 650 sq ft studio apartment. The house hunt will have to be postponed at least until the first of the year.

My new job started on Thursday. In two weeks I will work a whopping 17 hours - clearly this is not enough, but apparently all the other stores I applied to in our mall are competitors of this store. And the two that weren't sent me a thanks-but-no-thanks letter.

I'm totally jealous of everyone who was privileged enough to go to the NYC Sexbloggers' Calendar debut party. Debauchery was bound to "ensue" as they say. *sigh* Everything fun happens in New York!

My anxiety got the best of me - I am not one for protests because they tend to give me claustrophobia. I did not go, please forgive me. Instead I did my part to further the gay agenda by going to a pet adoption expo!

It is nearing the end of the semester and I will have my nose in actual books for about the next six weeks. One of my final papers is about the writings of Denise Chavez. The other paper will be an "autoethnography" where I talk about the effects of culture on myself as it relates to queer theory. I've chosen once again to talk about the femme identity. My professor wants me to answer the question, "how does femme queer femininity?" for indeed it does. I'm supposed to write about moments in my life that helped to shape my femme identity. I'll write about those scenes another time. I'm a bit behind in homework too, so expect to see and hear from me even less than you already do. I read everyone's writings, but I am just having so much trouble formulating my thoughts.

Next Wednesday I'm being inducted into my university's founding chapter of iota iota iota, which is an honor society for undergraduates focushttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifing in Women's Studies. The color is lavender - isn't that nice? It's named for Inana, Ishtar and Isis.

Dana's new job promised her 40 hours and has totally disregarded that commitment. Although she is getting the most hours out of everyone, she is still getting less than forty. She actually makes less at the new job than she did at the old horrible sucky job because she ended up working overtime before, whereas she is not allowed to now. Looking for new or second job now, as money is way, way tight. With a move on the horizon, we both need to bringing in as much moola as possible. Life is not propelled by my smiling face alone, but by the bank.

Should I or shouldn't I arrange play dates with a certain pair of beautiful people? yea or nay? It sounds like a good idea, I definitely could see it working out, but at the same time there are always risks, you know? I don't want to risk my beautiful partner in exchange for a fleeting thrill. But I also see the value in expanding one's personal horizons. If it happens, I think they're going to have to make the first move.

I'm now uninsured. Health is doing alright, but the main thing is eating right, eating small meals at frequent intervals, and taking meds on time. We purchased a bathroom scale the other day, which is a good measure of how my overall blood glucose is doing. Sugar goes up, weight goes up, and the opposite is also true.

Taking everything into consideration, however, I'm feeling absolutely fabulous. I am more and more in love with Dana. I feel more and more comfortable with our relationship. We talk about everything, we welcome change and progress, and we constantly reaffirm to each other our commitment to making things work. She sure means a whole lot to me.

Christmas Craft Time! Personalized Stockings

The cat children's Christmas stockings.

Materials:
Felt Christmas Stocking - seen above, $1 at Big Lots or dollar store (or $1.50 at Wal*Mart)Make sure the stocking is not fuzzy anywhere, you're going to be stitching it!
Embroidery Floss - Costs less than $1!! (We used green)
Embroidery Fabric - Costs $4 ish, short names can double up on one bookmark. Ours has a green border.

Embroidery Needle - Costs under $1.50
Embroidery Alphabet Pattern - Free! Number Six and seven were nice, but any will do. Just google "Cross Stitch Alphabet Pattern".
Total Cost: about $8 for the first, $5 for each additional.

Instructions:
You know, now that I got to the instructions, I realized that I'm not sure how to instruct you in the cross stitching... You basically thread the needle, start the needle from the back and make little x's, following the pattern! Dana did the stitching on the bookmarks and trimmed them down. After she finished, I fastened the strip of fabric to the stocking by stitching a border through both the bookmark and through the white felt (the part that is folded down). I think it looks great! We're going to get stockings for ourselves as well! Don't tell - I already have something to put into hers! Teeheehee!

Hillsborough County Commissioner Kevin Beckner!

The guy on the right is Kevin Beckner, an openly gay man who supports protection of people like me, and for people who are not like me at all. That's the kind of fella I'd like serving my county! He won on Tuesday!

Notice how prideful Brian Blair was throughout the whole interview, patronizing both the interviewer and Kevin Beckner. He's against a gay agenda, yet he has "dear friends" who are gay? He tries to prove how much he likes people of color by talking about how many of his friends are people of color - that really doesn't convince me. I want to see what you're doing for those people besides letting them sit next to you on the goddamn bus!

That's my schpiel. Thanks Tampa Bay for electing someone who actually believes in separation of church and state!

Election Day Blues

Election Day was not a fantastic day for me, although it ended on a high note.

I woke up at 6:30 (after having lain in bed for some time, half awake) grinding my teeth with nerves. I simply could not sleep. I took the early morning hours to try out some biscuits. I substituted margarine for shortening, but they didn't turn out so great so I'll have to try them again with real shortening! I'm not a big fan of shortening though, because it's made of mostly hydrogenated oils - very bad for you! Made breakfast for Dana: bacon, eggs, grits and biscuits, which she appreciated very much.

After having called the realtor twice on Monday night, Tuesday I called him on the way to school. No response. I went to his office and he was not there, so his colleague called him. Twice, while I waited. Finally he calls back after having tried to contact him now five times, saying that the woman who was there right after us gave the deposit. Fuck.

But here's what happened Monday night, he arrived there, followed by a woman whom we took to be his wife or colleague, who was also looking around the house. As we left, the realtor said, "alright, I've got to get to another showing. goodnight" and he shooed us out the back door. Apparently that was the woman who took the house. He gave us no indication that anyone else was interested, and made it seem like he'd be glad to hear from me on Wednesday. Is that not sneaky and rude to you? It was to me, anyhow. We were disappointed that it took him five phone calls to inform us that the house was taken, after we had been up all night fretting about whether or not to take it. I do -not- make decisions on the first day, EVER. Last time I did that, I ended in the place we shall not name, where I lived before I moved in with my cousin Stefanie. Evil place.

Before I found out about the house, though, my mother called me to ask whether or not I had voted already. I told her I had voted ten days ago. I thought she was calling to tell me how proud she was that I was doing my civic duty, but instead she wanted to say, "I know you voted for Obama, and I'm disappointed because I don't think you're really looking at the big picture. You young voters are not taking some important issues into account . . . if Obama wins, things are going to be bad, really bad . . ."

I have not spoken to my mother since the election, I'm going to let her come to me first. I realize she's conservative, I realize that she was proud to have a female VP candidate, I just wish she knew that I could not let my fate rest in the hands of people who have called me and my tribe sinful. I could not let a man be president who insinuated that he would let the Iraq war go on forever. I definitely do not think that McCain/Palin would have been disastrous, although she feels apocalypse is coming because Obama won. Any person we put in that office is going to be under such great pressure because of their leadership position. Can even our dear Obama be trusted to do what is right for America? Only God knows. We entrust him now with this position of servitude, and we can pray for God to guide his steps.

On top of all that crap, Dana and I were snapping at each other, both being so nervous, and also both having our periods at the same time (which hardly ever happens, actually). And then we found out that proposed Amendment 2 was passed by 62.2% - two thirds of my state thinks I don't deserve to enter into any legal contract remotely resembling marriage with the person that I love. I don't get it. It needed 60% to be approved, and it barely surpassed that mark by 2.2%. Do I leave my beloved state, or do I stay to fight? I can't help but to feel like running away sometimes.

It was a long day, and my only worry is that gas prices will not shoot back up to 4 or 5 dollars any time soon. Lord hear our prayer!

curb your enthusiasm.

I cannot believe you people are not as excited about my naked pictures as I am! Seriously! I have not posted sexy pictures in MONTHS and these are my first topless pictures, and aren't they fan-fucking-tabulous? Come on now. Get excited about nudity! Get excited about breast cancer awareness - it's a campaign to remind you to touch yourself, what's not to love about THAT? As a matter of fact, touch your friend's breasts, too. two hands are better than one, I always say. if one of you misses something, the other might find it!

I would also like to announce that I just had the best sex that I have ever had with dana, year to date. I have never ---evver--- been fucked so exquisitely. I was sitting at the edge of orgasm for like 20 minutes before I came crashing down. A. Ma. Zing. When we first started having sex, I was so pleased by her skill that I just wanted to share it with the world, "everyone should have sex this good!" But it was gotten so good that I'm getting to be a selfish bitch and keep her hot lovin' all to myself. Maybe not allll to myself, but I'm not sharing with just anyone if you know what I mean.

Who knew I deserved a girlfriend as great as this. We engaged a third finger for the first time ever, and it was absolutely glorious. Her tongue on my clit sets off the fireworks in my brain! The combination of the two is beyond compare, it sends me into total meltdown. No doubt about it, I am pretty damn lucky.

PSA: Breast Cancer Awareness

Earlier this month I was tagged by Natt Nightly. I'm just going to repost what Natt said:

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and here’s an easy way to get involved:

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on ‘donating a mammogram’ for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn’t cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here’s the web site! www.thebreastcancersite.com

Natt tagged sublimefemme, GR.E.G., Curvy Dee, and Sinclair. Have you all fulfilled your obligations? I'm re-tagging Sinclair and Essin' Em

Without further adieu, my Breast Cancer Awareness picture, taken this evening by the lovely Dana Herself, whom I dearly love.



And here's another, for good measure, and for my own vanity.


And here are the cat children.
Aurora on the left is the princess.
Dabu to the right is the troublemaker.

Early Voting

Thursday I took Dana to school with me, and on the way home we detoured to the library closest to our home to take advantage of Florida's two full weeks of early voting. Two weeks! I say, if you've got the polling line blues, early voting is the way to go. I went early because I had the unfortunate experience of a panic attack on the way to the polls last time, fearing the lines and having trouble deciding (trouble deciding? I was in a much different place in life at that point, so yeah). I knew there would be a line, but it would be nothing like November 4. I didn't want a repeat of last time, and I was anxious to cast my vote for the democratic nominee, Senator Barack Obama.

I'm anxious to halt this dynasty of white moneyed bigots.

So! If you have the opportunity to early vote, please do! Before you go to the polls, check out all the candidates, especially the nonpartisan tickets and find out where they stand on issues that are important to you. Don't go into your booth empty handed! Have your sample ballot, have a piece of paper with your notes on it.

Vote for love and against hate in your state!

Sample Ballot, Check!

I have just checked out all the candidates in my area and filled out the sample ballot that was sent to me by the supervisor of elections. Did you fill out yours? I'm going to check in with Dana and then we're going to go Early Vote tomorrow afternoon at a local library. It's just like regular voting, except you don't have to worry about getting an panic attack waiting in line at the polls on 11/4. Do it now, if you can!

Stopping the spread of hate...

On October 20, 2008, eight influential lesbian bloggers will launch 8 Against 8, an eight-day collaborative online fundraising drive to defeat Proposition 8, a ballot initiative that seeks to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in the State of California. See the project here.

The bloggers include Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend, Dorothy Snarker of Dorothy Surrenders, Grace Chu and Grace Rosen of Grace the Spot, Lori Hahn of Hahn at Home, Kelly Leszczynski of The Lesbian Lifestyle, Sinclair of Sugarbutch Chronicles, Riese of Marielyn Bernard, and Renee Gannon of Lesbiatopia.

The idea came about last Friday when Grace Chu of Grace the Spot logged onto Facebook and saw a few of her Facebook contacts openly campaigning for the passage of Proposition 8 via their status updates. “My initial reaction was to delete them from my Facebook contacts, because if you’re actively campaigning against my rights, you’re not my friend,” she said. “It totally ruined my morning.”

But instead of deleting her contacts, Chu decided to channel the power of the blogosphere to drive much-needed funds into the coffers of Equality California, the umbrella organization of the No on 8 campaign. Over the weekend, Chu assembled eight prominent lesbian bloggers to help get the word out and fundraise on behalf of Equality California’s No on 8 campaign. “Among the eight of us, we reach tens of thousands of eyes per day,” she said. “If we come together in a coordinated and unified effort, we could send a really powerful message, raise a ton of money, and make a real difference in the fight against Prop 8.”

Pam Spaulding of the highly influential and award-winning blog Pam's House Blend urges people to give to the No on Prop 8 campaign in the critical last days leading up to the election. Even if you have already given, it would greatly benefit the drive to defeat Prop 8 to give a little more. “We cannot allow an established civil right in the Golden State to be overturned at the ballot box. Every dollar you can give in these last in these last few days helps fight the dollars donated to enshrine discrimination into California's constitution,” said Spaulding.

Just last week, Equality California had released a bulletin that it was $10 million behind the opposition in fundraising. However, despite closing the gap this past week, there is still a ways to go. Furthermore, many current polls predict that Proposition 8 would pass if the election were held today. "There has never been a more important time for the queer community. This election will change our world for the better or put us back in the Dark Ages. It's not only critical we win for California, but for the rest of the country," said Sacramento resident Lori Hahn, owner of the popular lesbian family blog, Hahn at Home.


Like Sinclair said, In addition to California’s Proposition 8 on the ballot in just a few weeks, Florida has Amendment 2 and Arizona has Proposition 102, both of which would amend their state constitutions to define marriage as between one man and one woman - AND it would make all other unions equivalent to marriage null in the state of Florida (that means civil union, common law marriage, and even domestic partnerships!). Arkansas also has Act 1 on the ballot, which would forbid gay and lesbian parents - and any unmarried parents - from adopting children.

Florida is my home state and from what I have heard about the amendment, it seems like my fellow Floridians are going to pass it no questions asked because the wording is a little ambiguous. It goes like this:

"Inasmuch as marriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized."

Are you hearing what I'm hearing!!! This would mean that if you were married in another state or country, you could potentially be barred from seeing your beloved in the hospital! Think about this, people! It takes away health insurance rights from domestic partnership agreements which are ofttimes formed between elderly couples due to some other legal quagmire. Suze Orman, the First Lady of Finance has endorsed the Say No on 2 campaign, predicting financial disaster because of this amendment. See what one of my fellow Christians has to say about this.

December Giving

It's that time of year, my friends! I will keep reminding you throughout the Fall season. As is my custom, when it is the season of giving, I do like to send small gifts and cards to those who are dear to me. If you read my ramblings, then I consider you very dear. It would be my pleasure to present you with some small treat! Please e-mail me with your complete mailing address, and indicate whether you will be glad to accept a card or a small gift. I am aware that receiving a gift may make some of you uncomfortable, so feel very very free to welcome a card only. If you'd like my return address, I'll be quite please to give it. After all, we are all real people, even though we have our blog faces on most of the time. So please, allow me the joy of thinking up some fancy treat for you!

14 unusual facts

I've been tagged twice, both by Natt Nightly and by Green-Eyed Girl for a bit of a survey - 7 unusual facts about myself. Since I've been tagged twice, I'll just go ahead and give you 14. I don't play by the rules, so if you want to do this, go ahead and do it. I tag anyone who wants to be tagged. Here we go:

1. The first chapter book I ever read was Heidi. Unabridged. In the first grade.

2. There is a picture of me above Dana's desk. She put it there. In the picture I am 2 years old, wearing a pink frilly dress and grinning from ear to ear.

3. When our cats try to get into my big wardrobe we say "look, Dabu's trying to get to Narnia!"

4. I have a laundry basket full of shoes, but I mostly wear an old brown pair of reef's.

5. I alphabetize or categorize every shelf on my bookcase.

6. I have never written a paper for college more than a week in advance. I have never turned in a rough draft. I have never not stayed up the night before it was due writing it.

7. I gave away my television to Amber and Sol earlier this year. Glad to be rid of it.

8. Even though I played violin for 13 years, and I have two of them, I rarely play anymore.

9. My mother makes the best kahlua - the funny thing is that it's made with instant coffee! yuck!

10. When I bowl, the palm of my hand faces down as I roll the ball.

11. It's official, I've moved three times in 2008. This is the last time, I swear.

12. In high school I stopped shaving for several months and ranted to anyone who would listen about why women's bodies should just be the way God intended them to be. Everyone thought I was nuts.

13. Dad used to read The Hobbit to me and my brother. We would sit on the arm rests of this big reclining chair and he would mispronounce words to see if we were listening.

14. I don't wear bras. Only tanks with shelf-bras in them. So much more comfortable, easy to take off, and I never have to worry about my bra straps showing!

There you have 14 facts about me.

Tag, you're it!

New Horizons

I took a really big step toward wellness today by quitting my job. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to look for a job, but the benefits are outweighing the consequences at this point.

You see, since I took the position with this company, my daily medication count went from two (allergies and birth control), to seven. I won't bore you with the list, but it is absolutely maddening.

In April of this year I found out that I am diabetic. I knew it was coming and I couldn't stop the process. I worked really late at night, even into the wee hours, and when I came home from work, I would be so tired that all I could think about doing was eating a package of ramen, or a past and sauce and then going to bed. That was a recipe for disaster. Not only that, but the fact that when you are pre-diabetic, or insulin resistant, your body requires frequent small meals to keep sugar and insulin levels steady. Add to that all the fast food (read: chick-fil-a, nature's table, etc.) that I ate because I did not make the time to prepare my meals, nor did I have the time to get a healthy sit-down dinner on a half hour break. Not possible. So! All the rushed eating, and then sitting down for hours and hours a day with a direct requirement -not- to walk around... I think this also could have caused the Acid Reflux disease.

The sedentary nature of a call center job, coupled with the high stress levels is a deadly mixture. High levels of stress raises both insulin levels and cortisol, both of which are chemicals that cause your body to store fat. So, stress makes you fat and then fat stores estrogen (exacerbating my PCOS) and also makes it harder to control blood sugar (hence causing my insulin resistance to be pushed over the edge to full on diabetes).

Do you see where I'm going with this? The list of cons is so long. For serious. This afternoon I've been dealing with some anxiety issues, some second thoughts:

Did I speak to soon? Should I have taken the LOA they offered?
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Couldn't I have waited to quit until I got another job?
Should I have put my big girl panties on and sucked it up for another two weeks just so I could be considered "rehirable?"

I think the answer to all of these questions is "no" but they are definitely important things to consider. The fact that not wanting to come to work has kept me up all night worrying, and that I've awoken with tears for the same reason tells me that it's time to move on. I have enough savings to get me through a couple months actually, so if I just need to go on furlough, I'll do it. I'm going to take the next few days to decide that.

when it rains, it pours.

I'm having a hard time you guys.

10/10 is when my dad died, to start things off.

on top of that, work had a "clarifying conversation" with me tonight, which is the first step in a very long process that culminates in getting fired if you don't get the hint to resign quick enough. It's because my job is collections, and I don't like taking money from poor people even when they signed up to be robbed anyway.

worried about my mom's job sitch, too.

And I had an appointment with the my PCP and all seemed fine until labwork came back saying that my Hemoglobin A1c was higher than it was when they started treatment for diabetes. normal range is like under "5" and mine went from 6.5 to 7.5 in the past six months. It was definitely not a drastic change, nor was it over a short period of time, but a lab nurse called the next day and was trying to force me into taking another medicine. I wanted to know what it was for, I wanted to know why the doctor picked that medicine over another medicine, and I wanted to know for chrissakes why I'm 24 years old with relative good health and taking 7 pills a day. The number keeps rising every 2 months and I swear to the gods it has to STOP somewhere. It has to.

On top of my health, Dana's has several pretty worrisome health concerns that are too private to talk about in this space. And there's nothing I can do to help, so I just have to be as supportive as I can and try not to let it all overwhelm me.

I'm probably not doing so great emotionally at the moment because this is day 2 back on my birth control pills which is to regulate my period. I have polycystic ovary syndrome according to the doctors who could find no cysts (yet a disease involving cysts was their diagnosis as to why I don't get a period unless it's pharmaceutically induced?). SO starting a new pill pack after having been off it since June due to a screw up at the pharmacy after my annual checkup. Not fun.

Add to all this the school work I'm supposed to be doing. And the guilt I feel over the fact that half of my medical problems are actually preventable with appropriate diet and exercise. I feel like my collections job is actually causing my health to decline. Stress levels raise insulin and cortisol and all that stuff, causing me to gain wait, and then my PCOS gets bad... It's all interrelated and I feel like I have no control over it even though it's technically controllable without the use of drugs.

And what do I do about my job? I hate my job and I think this conversation with my boss tonight was basically the universe saying "HEY! Quit whining and go find a new job!" The trouble is that it is not so easy.

Dear the Universe,
I am in very dire need of an emotionally fulfilling job that gives me flexible hours, supports my school schedule, pays my bills, and makes me feel like I am making a difference in the world. I would prefer it to have nothing to do with sales or collections - other people's money is really not my thing. Please also include health benefits and pto.

Thanks,

Miss A.

one in a million.

I miss my mother. She lost her job a few weeks ago due to her department being integrated into another larger department at the hospital. She was fired unjustly because whoever was in charge neglected to properly equip her department for the job they were being asked to do. Basically, one of the computer programs that is necessary for her job required a password. They were never allowed to have the password so when they had to use this particular program, they had to walk across the parking lot to an entirely different building to use a computer there, and then walk back to their own office to complete the task. They said she was not fast enough a the job.

Another name on my hit list, seriously. Because you don't mess with mama. These idiots don't realize that every last one of my mother's previous employers have begged her to stay. They would fire whoever replaced her just so they could have her back. You don't fire my mother for what you deem "poor performance" when you have not provided her with such a simple thing as a password to the software that is required for her job.

I guess she's appealing the wording of the termination letter. Honestly. For a woman of her age, getting fired makes it doubly hard to find a job that pays the bills, couldn't they have simply called it a lay-off? I swear, my mother left Florida because of the hustle and bustle and all the rude drivers and nasty waitstaff, but I've never heard of such utter disrespect, and absolute bullshit business practices! I told her to bring her situation to the attention of some kind of city or county representative in case something could be done.

You don't fucking fire my mother.

Sent her lavender roses with purple alstromeria today to cheer her.

Manly Meals for Males

Since I can't seem to do "Meals for Males" on a weekly basis, I'm changing the name to "Manly Meals for Males" so that I will not feel guilty for not posting. Without further adieu, Chapter One: Manna for the Meat and Potatoes Man

In an age where gourmet cookery has become popular, and dishes from the French cuisine classique are no longer reserved for the nobility and the wealthy, the male trencherman commonly referred to as the "meat and potatoes man" seems to have fallen into disrepute.

Not so. The meat and potatoes man has simply moved uptown... While copious amounts of protein and carbohydrates continue to make up the nucleus of his diet, a new dimension has been added. Zesty seasonings, tangy sauces, piquant flavorings and tantalizing food combinations formerly savored only occasionally when eating out are now becoming very much a part of eating in.

Something else has changed, too. There was a time when the ravenous male frequently had to make a choice between quantity and quality. Now, he wants both... At a typical businessMAN's dinner in almost any large American city, this would be an acceptable meal [steak, potatoes, and a salad].

The recipes that follow in this chapter have all been carefully chosen and tested on discriminating meat and potatoes men. They are basically simple in construction, substantial in volume, and stimulating to the taste. In short, these dishes positively will stanch those persistent nagging hunger pangs which characterize a voracious male appetite.

Since a well-fed man makes good company, it is earnestly hoped that the effort involved will yield handsome dividends.

Carrots Flambe
1.5 lbs baby carrots
pinch salt (for boiling)
1/3 c bourbon
1 tbs brown sugar
4 tbs sweet butter
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1 tbs parsley, finely chopped

Simmer carrots until tender. Place carrots in a skillet with butter, lemon juice and brown sugar and saute until the sugar is dissolved. pour in bourbon, allow it to warm, ignite and blaze, stirring until all alcohol has burned off. Sprinkle parsley over carrots and serve immediately. 4 Servings.

Carrots can be served with Braised Loin of Pork and Potatoes Grand Marnier

writing for pleasure

So, about this time last year, I sat down with my poems and decided to finish my chapbook by the end of 2007. Obviously that didn't happen. I mean. I have several poems that I feel are complete, and I have a general idea of the layout, but I just haven't been able to piece together this work. Then there's the problem of what to do with the naughty poems. I can't very well publish those poems in my real name! And yet I want to be able to share my writing with the people I grew up loving. I also have hardly written in my paper journal since July, and I'm sure you've all noticed the lack of posts here, as well. I'm supposed to write four times a month on The Femme's Guide to Absolutely Everything. I have only managed to post three times (although I do have a post in the works).

I have to write. I have to. I mean, I'm writing for my classes and all. But I am not writing for pleasure, and that is insufferable. So. Will you all cheer me on to begin writing again, perhaps to complete my chapbook ten years in the making? I need to speak, and I need to speak aloud.

thrifting

I forgot that on Saturday Dana and I went thrifting and had some pretty damn good luck. Store number one didn't have much, but there were a couple of books, and a copy of The Secret Garden on VHS. I have to say, I'm starting to get a little nostalgic for tapes, because you can get used movies for so cheap at thrift stores, and they have been in pretty fair condition so far. We really bonded over the movie last night. I really love Mary Lennox's transformation from an angry, fearful girl into a warm and smiling young woman. I laugh at how she ruffles Mrs. Medlock's feathers, and storms into Colin's room calling him selfish! She herself enters the story behaving very selfishly, but finally she learns that she doesn't have to be afraid of being abandoned anymore, and learns to freely love herself and others. I was inspired by the incredibly good acting of the children in this movie and the directing is fantastic, having been made by one of Francis Ford Coppola's companies.

We also located a copy of Mr. Edward Greenblatt's "Suddenly Single: A Survival Kit for the Single Man" which includes 30 simple recipes (enough for one month!) and 50 kids activities (for your kids when they are in your custody, or perhaps for the children of people you date?). That will probably be my next book review.

The treat of the next store was a cache of old lesbian music tapes! Here's the list

Melissa Etheridge
Melissa Etheridge
Yes I Am
Brave and Crazy
your little secret

k.d. lang
Angel With a Lariat
all you can eat

Sheryl Crow's title album (not lesbian, just 90's!)

and, tadaha pure moods II

Our final stop lead to a deposit of the contents of my trunk (which have been awaiting the goodwill donation center for many moons) and the purchase of a bookshelf, a tea pot and tea kettle, and some fancy plates (which I looked up online and they are in fact very good fakes). *Squee!*

Get a gender!!

I realize that I've missed Monday, and thus "Monday" Meals for Males. I'm sorry. I'll try to do it tomorrow! Right now I would like to tell you about this young person that we saw skateboarding on Sunday. We went to Denny's for breakfast on Sunday afternoon (it's actually a very good restaurant, as far as breakfast goes, but only this particular location). As we were driving through the parking lot, we saw a group of what we assumed to be young men. Teenage boys. As is customary of white teenagers in this moment, they all had long hair, tight jeans, and black band t-shirts. We have been talking about gender, and how to be a "good enough" man or woman (or whatever) and I am totally supportive of whatever gender you choose. Dana mused, "is that a boy or a girl!" and I was like, "clearly, it's a boy" although I was not sure which one she was pointing to because they were all mildly ambiguous. After lunch we went around the back roads on the way to the bank and we encountered the same young person that Dana had pointed out. I instantly recognized why she was so confused about what gender the person was. He was wearing a rainbow headband and had shoulder-length, flat-ironed, crazy wild dyed-black hair. In jest, I couldn't help but exclaim "get a gender!" -- not to him, just in the car. The young person was probably male, and was probably performing his gender in was that are appropriate to his peers. I feel old.

Monday Meals for Males #1

I think I'm crazy! My favorite hobby is to nitpick old cookbooks for their sexist sentiments, and make fun of the weird food! I swear I am so weird.

Today I'll be debuting yet another out of print book that I'll be excerpting (it will be on Mondays, I'm late this week). It's called Meals for Males. I couldn't find a good link for it, sorry. I found it at a used bookstore we have around town for $8, which sounds like I got ripped off considering that I saw one copy for $.40 on Amazon. If you're a cookbook geek like Dana and like me, $5 will surely tickle your fetish. Not that I'm suggesting you buy a sexist text, but the original author isn't making any money off of it, so why the heck not?

About John J. Poister
John Poister began his writing career as a war correspondent for Stars and Stripes in Shanghai, China. Since that time he's tackled virtually every kind of writing. His 1965 documentary "Change for the Better" won the best documentary motion picture of the year award at the International Film and TV Festival of New York. Meals for Males is his second book. His first, The Pyromaniac's Cookbook" received wide critical praise as the first comprehensive book on flambé cuisine ever published in America.

Some credentials eh!

intro/duction
In the introduction he says, "This is as book for men with heart appetites - and women who love to satisfy them." He's trying to be inclusive rather than exclusive, can't you see? He continues: "This is a book for everyone who likes to cook and all who believe that good food and drink are an important part of the total enjoyment of life." Count me in!

This book contains no chapter on desserts because rich, heavy, calorie-packed dishes at the end of a substantial meal are less in demand by weight-conscious, on-the-move men and women. Accordingly, this space has been given over to other areas of rapidly growing interest and popularity, such as outdoor cooking. Hors d'oeuvres come at the end of this book, where they are utilized within the context of a social situation calling for light fare.

This social situation he's referring to is a date! Chapter 8 is: Of Succulence and Seduction: Carefully chosen food and drink for an evening for two designed to fortify love's alchemy whilst assiduously avoiding gluttony and inebriation; complete with many foolproof recipes and tested elixirs, some of which are reputed to possess aphrodisiacal powers."

It gets even better! He describes Chapter 7, "Drinks for Wine Lovers" this way:
The rather long sections on mixed drinks may seem disproportionate compared to those in traditional cookbooks. But since this is a book dealing with food and drink having a special appeal for men, and since men are usually responsible for drink preparation in the home, it is entirely appropriate that this branch of culinary arts be treated importantly. There is also a chapter on mixed drinks using wine as a basic ingredient. This reflects the increasingly widespread use of wines in the home.

Finally, John's goal is to make every man a gastronaut. That's right ladies, gentlemen, and gentlequeers.

gas-tro-naut; n: 1: a person who explores, investigates, or experiments with all aspects of good eating, esp new kinds of edibles or cooking methods.

No lie. This is one the very first page, before the copyright page.

If you missed Sunday Single Girl's Guide to Entertaining by Dixie Dean Trainer, you should go back and read them they're hilarious!

I leave you with the "Poisterizer" - YES it's named after the author:

1 oz orange juice
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz coconut milk
2.5 oz Barbados rum
Shake with ice, pour into a collins glass, fill with lemon lime soda and float half oz Demerara rum on top.