curb your enthusiasm.

I cannot believe you people are not as excited about my naked pictures as I am! Seriously! I have not posted sexy pictures in MONTHS and these are my first topless pictures, and aren't they fan-fucking-tabulous? Come on now. Get excited about nudity! Get excited about breast cancer awareness - it's a campaign to remind you to touch yourself, what's not to love about THAT? As a matter of fact, touch your friend's breasts, too. two hands are better than one, I always say. if one of you misses something, the other might find it!

I would also like to announce that I just had the best sex that I have ever had with dana, year to date. I have never ---evver--- been fucked so exquisitely. I was sitting at the edge of orgasm for like 20 minutes before I came crashing down. A. Ma. Zing. When we first started having sex, I was so pleased by her skill that I just wanted to share it with the world, "everyone should have sex this good!" But it was gotten so good that I'm getting to be a selfish bitch and keep her hot lovin' all to myself. Maybe not allll to myself, but I'm not sharing with just anyone if you know what I mean.

Who knew I deserved a girlfriend as great as this. We engaged a third finger for the first time ever, and it was absolutely glorious. Her tongue on my clit sets off the fireworks in my brain! The combination of the two is beyond compare, it sends me into total meltdown. No doubt about it, I am pretty damn lucky.

PSA: Breast Cancer Awareness

Earlier this month I was tagged by Natt Nightly. I'm just going to repost what Natt said:

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and here’s an easy way to get involved:

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on ‘donating a mammogram’ for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn’t cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here’s the web site! www.thebreastcancersite.com

Natt tagged sublimefemme, GR.E.G., Curvy Dee, and Sinclair. Have you all fulfilled your obligations? I'm re-tagging Sinclair and Essin' Em

Without further adieu, my Breast Cancer Awareness picture, taken this evening by the lovely Dana Herself, whom I dearly love.



And here's another, for good measure, and for my own vanity.


And here are the cat children.
Aurora on the left is the princess.
Dabu to the right is the troublemaker.

topless in the pool

So, Kay and Ash, and Dana and I all went out to the Melting Pot for to dine upon the novelty and seduction that is melted cheese and smooth, liquid chocolate. Afterward we retired to Dana's apartment where we donned water-appropriate gear and skipped off to the pool. Kay, being her nudist self, was the first to off her tops, I the second. It took a dare and gambling to finally pursuade Ash to take off her white undershirt, and man alive. Let me tell you something about how much I love breasts. Man. Ash has some seriously fantastic ones. Tender palmfuls, they are the perfect smallish size.

"If I let you touch mine, can I touch yours?"

Gah. So great. I was topless the rest of the night. Why wear clothes when you're among friends? Why.

TMFT

I'm sorry that it has been nearly a week now since I last posted, but I have had some interesting developments lately. First of all, I'm completely flipped out and ecstatic about the PSI coming up. Secondly, I have to see the oh bee gee why en! in the morning. Thankfully Dana will be with me. I was there when she had her visit a couple weeks ago - she was a little nervous but it went perfectly well. I'm not excited about the cold ducklips, but I am excited to start revisiting the treatment of my PCOS. It has been a long time since I thought seriously on it, and tried to see about resolving some of the issues. I basically stopped getting my period several years ago and I went through a grieving period. Now, I live with a 3 year old, and I'm perfectly content to be child free for the rest of my life. I mean. I'll probably change my mind later in life. Whatevs.

Also, Dana and I met up with the famous Essin' Em for some sun bathing and mixed drinks by the pool. She was in South Florida vacationing with her family and we had the privilege of rescuing her from TMFT (too much family time) for a little bit of debauchery. I've had some writer's block and I can't remember everything, but suffice to say that at one point the tables had turned. Dana was tied up to the end of the bed with me straddling her hips and Em was flogging my back and Dana's legs. That was the highlight of my night, unless you count Dana fucking me as I reclined into Em's embrace. Woohoo!

Dana had a little bit of a hard time afterwards trying to come to terms with the fact that it was okay to have fun with another girl, and that it's okay to think another girl is pretty, even though she's with me. Today she is doing much better. Remember how I was with Crave? She had a case of those same blues but it was milder and went away quicker.

On the drive home from the Atlantic coast (we live on the Gulf coast) we talked about all the highlights, and we asked "was it ok when i ...?" and "did you like it when i ...?" I think we might have finally converted Dana - whee! I told her she could pick the next one :P

My housing situations is feeling better and better - I split my time between Dana's apartment and mine. The child is perfectly charming... except I think I caught his first-week-of-preschool cold. Ugh. Toddler sniffles!

minor details

"You have 20 minutes before you have to leave for work."
"oh yeah? hmm"

I yawned and stretched with my whole body as I do pretty frequently in the morning, when I'm in bed and naked. I let my knees fall open so she could see me wanting. Last night I had said, "you treat me like dessert" - she said, "oh yeah, you are the dessert!" When she wants it, I can't say no and when I want it, she can't say no either.

20 minutes.

I always feel myself rising like the smoke of smoldering ashes - it happens just as soon as her hot mouth closes in around my clit, so warm and soft. We've taken to these soft morning sessions that tease her on her way in to work, a snack. Breakfast of me.

Last night it was strawberries and cream on my breasts and chest and belly, they were so cold from being refridgerated and she tasted so sweet on my lips. She licked irish cream from between my breasts and kissed me sweetly. Even after I am spent I somehow find my second wind to reward her valiant efforts and every time - no, really, every single time - she has fallen into la petite morte and quieted herself and spoken nonsense to me. Every single time. Her reward is also mine.

I guess I am still entrenched in that phase where I can't get enough of her love, and all I want to be is with her, and all I want to do is lie naked, curled around her, exchanging this life-giving energy that we are breathing into and drawing from each other. I should tell you more about her, I should tell you more about all the things we have in common, but for now all I want to do is tell you that she fulfills me and comforts me and makes me feel truly well.

momentos intimos

I've just shared the most beautiful massage with two really special people. It reminded me of another experience that I had several months ago. A really special, intimate time that I wasn't expecting from this pair. I don't know what all I can say about it, but I just. I just. I just feel so deeply connected to them. This is what I want out of our friendship. To be open and to be able to share bodies without feeling weird. I couldn't get the hang of the boundaries when the two of them had their hands on me. But I realized that they'll tell me if we approach the boundaries. They won't keep me guessing. I trust them to do that. But I feel all opened up and stretched out again. Spiritual open, as if I my tentacles are outspread. My feelers have extended past my arms. I'm not sure what to do with that. I'm still figuring out how to be three with them when they are so clearly two. Not three in a sexual way, at least not explicitly. They enjoy my company, and I am learning to enjoy theirs. I knew, I knew that time would heal my relationship to them. It's healing. I'm healing. And this had something big to do with it.

some things take time

I spent last evening er... this morning, rather, since I didn't arrive until 1 a.m. after work, with Pa tri ci a, Sol and Autumn. I felt very welcome, and I have to say that the more time I have to sort through things, the better I feel about everything. I was in a much better frame of mind today than I was this past weekend, and I loved being able to reconnect with P. We had fun times in the hot tub, gettin topless and giggling - actually most of the giggling came from me, because did you know, being naked makes me laugh more, so one of my new years' resolutions was to enjoy more naked time. No joke. We all piled up on a king size bed, and I have decided that when this bed wears out, I'm getting a king. It's like the epitome of luxury, and great for multiple bodies piling up all together. And you know I love that! I hate being alone at night and everyone insisted that I join them, so my antisocial tendencies were restricted. It was good. I'm exhausted now, though. We woke up at 8:30 so that Sol would have time to run errands, but after 3 hours of sleep that was -so- not happening. I came home so that I would have my clothes and stuff ready when I get up for work in a few hours.

For once, I'm glad that holding a grudge is damn near impossible for me, that given a little bit of time, I can get over pretty much any petty grievance. It seems like when it comes to lesbians, if you can't be friendly with the people, regardless of who's sleeping with whom, you'll have some trouble keeping friends. I've seen some people get into horrible arguments over stupid stuff and then never speak to each other again, and that's so very unfortunate. I'd rather be able to make amends than waste all that energy on being angry. Evil makes people unattractive, and I simply cannot have that.

Brave, brave sugasm #117

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #118? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
A Fable
“They start touching her, gingerly at first, wondering what magic is in her.”
Fiction: The Island Princess and the Monkeys Who Tie Knots
“You naughty, naughty, NAUGHTY monkeys!”
Sexy Is In Your Mind
“Sexy is an attitude and really all in your mind.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Chickipedia
Editor’s Choice
Take a walk on the wild side.
More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Crave - Connect
Threesome on a golden afternoon
Whispers, after
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The female “gaze”

a letter

Dear Visitor from Orlando,

I see you did not participate in my anonymous visitor's poll. I'm displeased. You see, you are in such a proximity to my whereabouts that I'm curious as to whether or not I've met you. I realize that maybe you don't want to blow your cover. Maybe you think that if you reveal yourself, that I'll stop writing about you. I pledge not to censor myself even if I know who you are! You were here tonight, and I missed you! Sneaky. You've been coming from my private blog, I noticed. The only way you can do that is if I add you specifically to the readers list. That narrows it down significantly!

Okay, if you don't want to out yourself here, maybe next time I see you, you can whisper in my ear, "Miss Avarice, we meet again!" and at least I will know who you are.

Regards,

Miss A.






On a completely separate note, there is nothing quite like making sweet sweet love to oneself in a warm cozy bed when it's chilly outside. I'm delightfully satisfied. In fact, I've been making a habit of having naked time, to the point where I am annoyed to put on my robe when I skip from my bedroom to the bathroom. Naked time is happy time.

it's finally over

You know, I started 2007 with my work cut out for me. There was the problem of what to do about college. There was the not so little problem of my queerness. And there was the gargantuan problem of my commitment to a religious organization with which I was not being completely honest. I knew this year would be a challenge, and that it was! In February, some time before St. V's day, I came out to my mother - not for the first time, and that will be the last time, I swear! I drove home in March, speeding down the freeway, with my belongings crammed into every little space in my car. I called a friend on the way home, asking to stay over a little while, and that became my home. Except that before that, I needed to get a little bit of sex out of my system. First things first, you know. I got a job in April, and started this blog. I started school in June and in August I moved into a bedroom to call my own (the first in nearly two years, thanks to communal living). The first week of October, I had my first real kiss and have had none since, then I attended the disruptive, dismantling CBE workshop. November brought a trip to see my mother, and a talk about the prohibition of any of my partners from family gatherings. I also confirmed with my boss that I'm queer. Finally in December, I finished my first full semester back at school and I'm ever closer to graduating.

I have a feeling that 2008 is going to be the year of therapy. I'm surprised by how well I survived 2007 because that was one hell of a ride.

Here is what I want 2008 to hold.
1. Intimacy. After living in communal housing, after being bravely open with my dorm mates, and just leaving them cold turkey, I'm craving community. Intimacy between women friends, like Delilah described. I thrive on it and I always have. I want intimacy with lovers - I want to be truly known by them.

2. Health. I have utterly neglected my health for 2 years now, and I can feel it taking its toll. I need to get my hormone imbalance and my blood glucose problems under control. I need to swim and exercise so that my knee strength improves. I have oral surgery that needs to happen. My skin needs some TLC, especially on my face. I have to quit smoking. Have to have to have to. No more of this stopping until i feel like starting again business.

3. Activism. The reason I came home wasn't to spend my money and my time on selfish things. I came home so that I could be useful to my Christian sisters and brothers who are gay like me, and I have done nothing productive. At least, I don't think. Once I get myself grounded, that is my next step.

4. Heart. My heart is scarred, whether I want to believe it or not. I have not been a fan of talk therapy the past several years. When I was in Jr. High, I think it did me a lot of good. But since then it has caused me nothing but trouble. The "counselors" I have been to seem to build upon each other, rather than tear down the lies and the injustices that the others have served me. They have "prayed" over me countless times in hopes that it would save me from certain doom - the nasty H word. Homosexuality. I want someone who will affirm my queer identity, yet also shares my faith tradition. I think it's important to at least start my therapy with a queer person of ministry, since I ejected myself out of that position with next to no "processing" or "debriefing" work. I've been a rogue, alone, and I forgot that no woman is an island, least of all me. Long story short, I want to give my heart what it deserves.

5. Commitment. My school work needs my attention, and I don't want to hit this time next year and be wishing I had worked harder. It's only six more classes, max, and I need to make it worthwhile and salvage my GPA in case I want to do graduate school (although that thought makes me ill).


Above all else, my New Year's Resolution is to try new things.




On an entirely different topic, please note that while I prefer the company of women, I have never been entirely opposed to a polite, respectful, intelligent, naughty boy. These are hard to find. But I'm finding myself curious, and strangely confident. I feel like I can tackle just about anything, these days. Even that.

Lastly, you will be interested to know that I have tentative plans to be photographed as follows: nude, tied up in that red hemp rope and kneeling on a hardwood floor. And on a fleece rug. And in the kitchen on the tile floor. But which will it be? Dirty girls on a clean floor? or clean girls on a dirty floor? I can't decide which I like best.

Something's brewing. The wind is shifting for me. The air tastes wet.

by the way, i have...

stress management

I've had a bath with jasmine oil and I smell like walking past a jasmine bush after dark. You might have trouble seeing it in the shadow, the fragrance hits you and then wafts off and leave you wanting more. Wanting to know where it originates.

I can feel some anxiety creeping in. I can feel my furrowed brow getting cramped. I am starting to feel like my spirit is extended past the borders of my body. I can taste the saltwater in my mouth and I'm kicking my feet to stay above the surface of the water. So I procrastinated and had a bath.

I've had a rough day. Work today was. Unfortunate. I had a customer who put on a good show and manipulated me. And that really pisses me off. But I have to transfer that energy. They're not mad at me. At the very centre, they're mad at themselves. And they take it out on me.

I bought Vogue. An impulse I couldn't resist. it's 840 pages of ads and artsy photography. Culture to unravel. And beautiful (most of them are honestly beautiful) thin women who will never know the joy I find in the teardrop shape of my belly, it comes to a point between two fulfilled breasts. I was admiring myself naked, just now, in the new mirror I've inherited from family. I was smiling.

everybody, come together, free

supine


taken


sweetness